


The Family You Make

by tjs_whatnot



Category: Sports Night, West Wing
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-25
Updated: 2011-12-25
Packaged: 2017-10-28 02:28:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/302734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tjs_whatnot/pseuds/tjs_whatnot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan Rydell took a long time to come to the realization that it's the family you created that meant the most. A ridiculously long time all things considered.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Family You Make

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Trovia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trovia/gifts).



> Trovia, for some reason your love of Dan Rydell and your love of crossovers just clicked this story and this relationship in my head. I hope there aren't a million stories like it out there already.
> 
> Also, please forgive the typos, it was written late Christmas Eve and all betas were busy with thoughts of sugar plums and whatnot.

Dan Rydell took a long time to come to the realization that it's the family you created that meant the most. A ridiculously long time all things considered.

His first friend who was more like a brother he'd met at Hebrew School at Westport Connecticut's Temple Shalom. Josh was a quiet boy who was determined to master their Bar Mitzvah's Torah reading so desperately that Dan could hear him murmuring the prayers each lunchtime and while they participated in their community service. It wasn't until they became friends that Dan realized Josh brought that sort of drive to excel in everything he undertook, and it wasn't until they became best friends that he realized why. Why he was determined to be the perfect son.

"Hey, who's this girl in this picture? I didn't know you had a sister," Dan said. He was looking around Josh's bedroom while Josh dug through his closet looking for his mitt. Josh's father was taking them to the Mets game. Dan had thought it weird Josh had a family photo in his room to start with, what thirteen year-old boy did, but the addition of a mysterious teenage girl in the photo with a much younger Josh surprised him more.

"That's Joanie," Josh answered over his shoulder.

"Is she in college?"

Josh turned and looked at him, his face expressionless. "No. She died."

The silence that filled the room pressed down on Dan as Josh stood there and looked at him. Dan didn't know what to say and thankfully, after a moment, Josh shrugged and turned back to the closet.

"I'm sorry," Dan whispered, but he wasn't sure if Josh heard him.

They didn't talk about it again for a long time. Then again, Dan realized, Josh never talked about his sister with anyone.

They drifted slightly in their high school years, Josh got accepted at Greens Farm Academy and Dan stayed in public school. Josh's determination to excel, to make his parents proud and fill the gaping hole his sister's death caused kept him busy and studious. Dan's determination to live life, party and try new things kept him busy and constantly in trouble. Josh fell in love with the law and politics. Dan fell in love with sailing, sports and smoking pot.

Still, they had baseball in common. Their relentless love for the Mets kept them connected during the season. Then, the day they were both headed off for college-- Dartmouth for Dan, Harvard for Josh-- there was something else that bound them.

 

The house was filled with hushed murmurs, but Dan didn't hear any of it. His baby brother, Sam, was dead. The mirrors were covered and the silver brimmed with nosh from the kosher deli and his brother was dead. Dan was supposed to be on the way to college but he couldn't think about that, all he could think about was how it was his fault and how he wished he was dead too. He couldn't look at his parents, couldn't stand the wet eyes and limp-hugged condolences or the empty words of sympathy.

He hid in his room.

He groaned when he heard the soft knock, but was shocked when Josh peeked his head in.

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah. Sure. Why aren't you at school?" Dan asked.

Josh waved his hand as he walked in. "I came back when I heard. I'm so sorry."

"Sorry?"

"For your loss... for your... ugh, I'm turning into one of those people." Dan just looked at him as Josh sat beside him on the bed. "Sorry for your loss. My condolences. All those bullshit things that people say, the things they say because they can't say the things they really want."

"Like what?"

"Like life sucks, it isn't fair and it never will be, that nothing will ever be the same, that--"

"It should have been me?" Dan whispered.

Josh jerked his head to face Dan, but instead of admonishing him, he just looked at him. "Yeah. That."

Dan wasn't expecting Josh to understand and he certainly wasn't expecting to find himself sobbing as his friend wrapped his arm around him, hugging him tight.

"It's my fault. It's my fault," Dan chanted over and over.

Josh didn't say anything for a long time, just held him. Even when Dan had stopped his guilty accusations, even when he had stopped sobbing, he held on to Josh. It should have felt awkward. The silence should have been nerve-wracking but it wasn't.

Finally Josh spoke in a small voice, "Believe me when I tell you... that feeling, that you're to blame... it's going to stay with you for a long time. I wish I could tell you otherwise. I wish I could make you believe me that it wasn't your fault, that you weren't driving the car and you weren't handing Sam the booze, or lighting his joint or making him make bad choices."

Dan pulled away and looked at Josh. "You went through this with your sister, didn't you?"

"I'm still going through it," Josh corrected.

Dan's chest heaved and another sob burned through him.

"I'm sorry, I'm not helping," Josh began, then he took Dan's face in his hands and forced Dan to look at him. "But I can tell you one thing and hope that it's some comfort to you. No matter what, no matter where, I am here for you. I will listen when you want to talk and will sit silent when you don't."

"Yeah?"

"Absolutely. Whether you want me to or not."

Dan had smiled his first legitimate smile, but it would take him years after to realize that Josh's _Whether you want me to or not_ was his way of saying that they were brothers. That this was just what family did for each other.


End file.
